


A Ghost Of A Chance

by FoxCollector



Series: Tumblr Prompts/Drabbles [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Detective Kagami, Gen, I'm so sorry for this but also no regrets, Kagami may have bitten off more than he could chew, Necromancy, a lot late, allegedly detective Jiraiya but how did that happen, but anyways I decided I may as well post this, detective Madara but he's not great at it, guys this was a halloween prompt, i'm a bit late, look grad school is hard, ridiculous unsolved cases
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14378730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxCollector/pseuds/FoxCollector
Summary: Octobers are never pretty in Konoha. Oh no. October means a sudden surge in grave robberies, which isn’t something that is included in the brochure, but it’s happened for the last five years, seemingly getting worse every year, and this year is no different.Well, maybe it is.Because this year Kagami is on the case.





	A Ghost Of A Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know this is beyond late for Halloween, but I figured since it was mostly done, and since, well, this is literally the first time I've been able to work on anything since October, I would start by posting this! Sorry it's not fantastic guys, but I'll tell you, grad school may kill me yet.
> 
> It's very short, but it's supposed to be just a little blurb.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy, hopefully!

            It’s been a long enough day by the time Kagami stops for lunch, and isn’t that saying something. Still, it can’t be helped. It’s already October 23, which means that the entire city has already gone to hell and taken Kagami’s sanity with it.

            Octobers are never pretty in Konoha. Oh no. October means a sudden surge in grave robberies, which isn’t something that is included in the brochure, but it’s happened for the last five years, seemingly getting worse every year, and this year is no different.

            Well, maybe it is.

            Because this year Kagami is on the case.

            And while that means he’s being snubbed by his uncle Madara, who was on the case the year before and has since been booted off, it does mean that this is his chance to prove that he’s just as good a detective as Itachi or Madara and not some ditzy, fluffy-haired dreamer who tripped his way through the academy and the streets.

            And he’s not bragging when he says that he actually has a lead. Oh yes.

            He’s staked out the cemeteries sure, but he can’t be everywhere at once, and whoever it is never hits the cemetery he’s at, but that actually helps, because that means that he’s sort of suspecting police involvement. Because the only people who know where he’s going to be are other cops and detectives.

            And the last time he staked out a cemetery he only told 3 people; Madara, Fugaku and Jiraiya. Which means they’re on the shortlist of suspects until he can prove otherwise.

            But tonight, he hasn’t told anyone where he’s going, and he isn’t planning to.

            Sure, it might be a slight breach in protocol, but he’s sure it will be forgiven when he catches the dirty thieves.

            He’s done the work.

            He knows that they’re likely to strike tonight, if the pattern of the last five years is any indication, add to that the fact that was a recent burial in the southside cemetery, and he’s sure that’s where they’re going to strike.

            And he’s going to catch them.

            So Kagami parks his car down a block away and walks to the cemetery. He sneaks in, the way he imagines they sneak in all the time, and he feels like maybe it’s a good thing he hasn’t chosen a life of crime, because he trips twice in the dark as he sneaks and tears his pants on the fence when he shimmies over.

            Still, it’s worth it when he can already see a flashlight in the distance.

            Oh, it cannot be that easy.

            It just can’t.

            After five years, there is no way he’s going to just stumble onto the grave robbers on his first real try (because he’s not going to count all those other nights, thanks). Because Madara staked out dozens of cemeteries the two years before, and Jiraiya staked them out for the three before that, and they’ve both been at this for a longer time than him. So even if one of them is crooked, he would have thought the other one would have found something.

            And yet, there was someone creeping across the cemetery.

            A second later, the light went out.

            Kagami crept forward, stealing like a clumsy shadow in the night, until he was close to where the light had been.

            For a moment, there was only silence. And then, “I think we’re good.” And it’s a harsh whisper, like someone who doesn’t know how to keep their voice down.

            “I hope so. No one is staking this place out, yes?” and that voice quieter, more careful.

            “I already told you no. My jackass nephew is taking the night off,” the first voice answers.

            “Don’t sound so disappointed. I thought you didn’t want us to be caught.”

            “I don’t. But he should do his job.”

            “Oh, like you did your job last year?”

            “I did _something_ last year.” The first voice snickers.

            “Try not to be disrespectful in a place of the dead.”

            “Goddamn you’re creepy sometimes.”

            “You love it.”

            “I do.”

            And no. Oh no. It can’t be.

            Kagami has to know. It sounds like Madara, and sure he suspected his uncle was maybe doing something crooked, but he did not, could not have anticipated _that_ of all things.

            He has to know.

            So he comes out of hiding, clicking on his flashlight and shining it in the faces of the two men he’d been following.

            And yes, Madara is one of them.

            This will be hard to explain at the station.

            He hasn’t seen the other one before though, he’s tall and pale, with white hair and skin and red eyes that immediately shut and turn from the light.

            Madara splutters. “Kagami?! Turn that off you idiot.”

            “Uncle,” he greets cheerfully. “You know, I suspected you were shady but I really didn’t see this coming.” But he does turn off the flashlight, if only because the other man – and oh wow, he is actually kind of really attractive – seems to be almost hurt by it.

            “You will say nothing.” Madara levels a finger at him.

            “Well, looks like he was better at his job than you thought,” the other man says.

            “Okay, I don’t know what’s going on here, but if you’ve come to defile dead bodies, I can’t let you do that,” Kagami says in his best cop-voice.

            “That’s adorable,” the man says.

            “Leave him alone, Tobirama. I’m actually kind of proud,” Madara says to the other - Tobirama apparently. He turns back towards Kagami. “Okay, listen. You go home for now, and I’ll explain tomorrow. But we’re kind of on the clock here.”

            Kagami frowns. That…doesn’t make any sense. It’s the middle of the night, they should have hours of time.

            “Oh no,” Tobirama says, and Kagami can just make out the look of annoyance on his face.

            “What?” asks Madara, he follows the other man’s line of sight, off behind Kagami and then scowls. “Seriously? I’m starting to think that bastard actually _is_ psychic.”

            Kagami peeks over his shoulder, and there’s another flashlight in the distance.

            Really?

            When did grave robbing become such a popular hobby?

            “Better go stop them, officer,” Tobirama taunts.

            Kagami makes a noise of frustration. “Come on then. I’m not letting either of you out of my sight.”

            And they do both follow him right to where the other light is, where two more men are just starting on digging up the dearly departed Makabe Seijiro.

            Well, one of them is digging, the other appears to be lounging slightly against an adjacent headstone, and –

            “You’re that – TV psychic guy!” Kagami exclaims when he lights up the reclining figure. “That…Orochi guy!”

            “Maru,” the man says.

            “Maru?” Kagami asks. Momentarily stumped, though perhaps not as much so as the other man with the shovel, a bigger guy with hair crazy enough to give Madara a run for his money, although it’s white and not black.

            “Orochimaru,” the man corrects. “I’m not an actual eight-headed snake.” And if he’d thought Tobirama was pale, he had nothing on Orochimaru, but the word ‘snake’ is certainly an accurate enough association.

            “Oh, um yes –” Kagami starts.

            “You!” the other man drops his shovel to level a finger at Madara and Tobirama. “I can’t believe you two would actually resort to calling the cops just to try and one-up us.”

            “Excuse me?!” Madara says, and his volume is suddenly climbing. “First of all,  _Jiraiya_ , my nephew is only here because he’s actually a decent detective, apparently, and second, you scooped us! We would have been here first if it weren’t for him. And this was a special tip from Rossi, how the hell did you hear about it?”

            Kagami is mildly offended by the use of the word "apparently", but he'll take it.

            Tobirama tries to quiet Madara with a look, but it seems to go ignored.

            “Oh, we have our own sources,” Jiraiya says, and he looks far too pleased. “Ever heard of Nanbu? Oh yes.”

            Kagami hasn't heard of Nanbu. He hasn't heard of a guy called Rossi either. He's starting to feel a little out of his depth. It hardly helps that he can't get a word in edgewise.

            Orochimaru places a hand on Jiraiya’s shoulder and steps in front. “Senju, what an entirely unwelcome surprise.”

            “Orochimaru,” Tobirama returns. “What an entirely unsurprising welcome.”

            Orochimaru smiles slightly, but it’s a bit cold. “Seeing as we were, in fact, here first, I’d like to request you find another body. I respect you too much to want to escalate this, but I will.”

            “Funny, I could say the exact same thing,” Tobirama says, and his answering smile could cut glass.

            Kagami feels a chill run up his spine, and he isn’t sure but it certainly seems a lot colder all of a sudden.

            “Okay, nobody needs dead bodies!” he interjects before things can actually escalate. “Why don’t we all just go down to the station together and work this out?”

            “Sorry, but I only have so long to raise his soul and I need answers,” Orochimaru says, but he doesn’t break eye contact with Tobirama.

            “You what?” Kagami asks incredulously.

            “That is exactly what is wrong with your style. The longer you wait, the worse it is.” Tobirama crosses his arms.

            “Oh? And that’s worse than yours? That blasphemy of placing a soul into another body? It’s wasteful and inefficient.” Orochimaru’s voice drops into something that reminds Kagami unpleasantly of snakes.

            “At least we don’t actually disturb a rotting corpse!” Madara says. “All we need is a bit of hair or skin.” His hands are on his hips, and Kagami knows from experience that’s his way of gearing up for a fight.

            “No, you just desecrate them!” Jiraiya snaps back. “We return the soul to the rightful body, without changing anything!” And his body language is the pictured definition of aggressive.

            Kagami isn’t sure if he’s dismayed or horrified. He can’t even wrap his head around what he’s hearing.

            “Trust me, this guy does not belong in your twisted Halloween tango,” Jiraiya is essentially yelling at this point.

            “Oh really? Because your stupid zombie walk is so much better,” and that's Madara, scarcely quieter.

            “We can settle this the old fashioned way, if you’d prefer,” Orochimaru says, and the temperature plummets.

            “Oh, I’d be delighted,” Tobirama says.

            The ground shifts and groans, and oh god, Kagami can hear the cracking and scratching, and why oh why did he ever have to take this case? The last thing he wanted was to get involved in a twisted necromancy competition while over-protective boyfriends yelled at each other in the background.

            Kagami just wants to go home. He doesn't get paid nearly enough for any of this.


End file.
